- No Guys No Cry -

pardon me for my caption above.
nothing to think of right now.
i will make my entry short yet simple.

i guess this past few days were really tough on me.

i end this for a better reason.

ps: i told him that i have somebody else in mind.
and i really meant it.
sorry.

theres a diff between having a crush and hoping for someone to be with u all time.
and, his my crush.

dunt see the point here.
haha.

-everything happens for a reason-

alhamdulilah,
everything are back to normal.

and tanx to u, i find my life more greatful.
sometimes we wish to be like our idol,
we copyright them and follow their trends/way of life,
but what we didnt realise are that,
our soul aint the same like them,
we have our own originality.
what i mean here are that,
i dont want those fame and glam.
what i want are my happiness and being pamper by someone that i love.

we only realise how important the person meant to us only when he/she was already not with us.

insyallah,
i dont want the fame and glam as i said earlier on.
what i want is the sincerity and love from people towards me.
whether that person is my friend, my family or even my bf.
i lead my own life, but without experienced i cant upgrade myself,
and without the great days i cant feel the happiness of life.

when i said entertainment leads u to over-exposure.
now,
everything is back to u to judge that.
human control the technology not technology take over human.
excessive exposure towards the environment lead you to over jealousy.
over jealousy leads you to the bad habits.

ps: tanx to all the people who sincerely taking care of my loved ones.
tanx people for being a good friend for my bf, Muhd Fadzlee.
to my bestfriend,Kamelia.
to my cousin,Huda.
to my childhood friend, huda ngaji and siti hajar.
and to everyone whom i love.

i have a great day today.
shopping at ikea alone was such a bore.
criously.
no one to ask for critics.
haha.
but at least i did the independent shopping spree alone.
haha.
well,
staff price was better than nothing.
headed to bf's crib.
left all the shoppings behind at his crib then headed off to geylang.
did the exchanging of raya clothings for roslee.(fadzlee's 2nd brother).
the size that he wanted was unavailable.
then we rush to the bazaar for the delicious food.
from the cempedak goreng to the ayam percik, burger ramli and air kathirah.
reach bf's crib again ard 5pm.
then lepak ard in his room with his younger brother,fauzee.
haha.
how i miss this big family so much.
and breakfast time,
aunty cook all the delicious food, but theres no lemak ayam, and nuggets.
ayg, wheres our all time favourites.
haha.
then after having our food,
aunty,uncle and roslee vanished in a sec.
while me and fauzee rush down to the mama shop to buy our fire cracker.
haha.
thus, when i reach his home again,
i straight went into his room,
and i was touched by the heart the moment i see him doing his prayer.
ouh.
i still remember those days where you teaches me alot about being a good gf.
and when u open the quran to read those holy words.
im happy for the choice that i made,
and i have no doubt on u.

haha,
i cant forget this scene lah u, when im washing the plates.
and ur adik, roslee approach me and say "ceh, nak step rajin lah tu and pikat hati mak mertua".

and i can only smile at him.

wait till his online on msn.
i will kenakan him back uh.

haha.

ur family really bring the happiness in me.
how can i lose u again.
haha.
no more of losing u next time.
insyallah,
i will take care of u as long as i can.

my blog are meant to write only good things about him.
no more bad things abt him.
insyallah.
experience really teaches us alot.
and syukur alhamdulilah,
we can still manage this relationship.

cant wait for the raya outing with your big family baybeh.
haha.

to rebond my hair or curl?
to manicure my nails or do it myself?
to buy a new handbag or a pair of shoes?
which want to choose.
you decide kies.

-anecdote-

evening sunshine.

everything back to normal physically.
as we can see.
what i need are just the pleasure-ry time.
and yeap.
hoping for a better tmrw.

one day,
u will know,
how it feels,
to be me GERL.
is superb and great.
SERIOUS.

and i know,
everyone has their own props and joyness.
so,
i will stick with my motivational phrase,
"dont regret each day in your life,coz good day brings happiness and bad day give us experience".

AGREED!!

hmmz,
month of ramadhan are doin great.
alhamdulilah.
next step is to get over all the stressful night.
when sun set and moon rises,
i start to get so stress and restless.
maybe i dunt really use to be alone doing nothing at night time.
so,
thought of register myself a mandarin night class.
and make myself busy with cooking classes.
how?
haha.
kickboxing either or yoga?
haha.
anybody care to join me.

and sorry to dear frend.
is not that i dont wanna upload pics and cause my blog to look so dull.
but the reason for not uploading pixxies was due to my lappy.
my lappy is down and currently im using my bro's comp.
eventually, thinking of selling my lapping and buy myself a computer.
nah.
confuse.
any comp geeks out there to help me decide.
puessssss.

i change my hp number.
and is open to all.
as i remembered, i updated u guys with my new number thru msg-es.
so i guess most of u knew abt it.
for those who dont,
no worries k.
just pm me.
im aint selfish.
u want mine,
u take it.
haha

my eyes hurts alot.
due to excessive eyeliner that i've been wearing for the past 3 years.
i guess my eyes need some relaxing theraphy.

k lah.

to my lovely fwens.
i guess,
no point hating people.
so, watever happens.
think before u do anything,
and do things wisely.
somethings are meant not to be given a 2nd chance.

watever it is,
dunt ever regret it.
see it in a positive way.

coz, in my eyes,
u guys r unique and beautiful.
sincerely said from my heart.
*im smiling rite now*

takecare peeps.
and siti hajar.
missing u badly my gothic fwen.
as in 3 yrs back.
haha.

-move on-

now i believe that not all fairy tales ends happily ever after.
i just finish reading the love story of a national junior college girl.

i wonder how a love story like that do exist.

and im waiting for my love story.

i believe everyone has their own special love story.
a very unique,
special,
great,
love stories.

i will be waiting for mine.

and yeah,
i read finish all my 302 emails.
emails from the month of march 2007 that i have ignored all this while.
i hate reading emails.
i hate reading all the long para which i find it quite trouble-some.
haha.

after reading all those emails.
how i finally smile to find all fancy msges.
from the merepek ones to the sad and crucial ones.
haha.

and i replied to some of it.
i dunt know if the sender are still exist.
haha.

well,
from now on,
i will try to love things that i dislike.
in sense,
reading of emails.


days of being single are just killing me slowly.

hei,
i dunt find in thou.
everything need a change.
action speaks louder than werds rite.
well for now.
i wont say much.
i want people to take note of the changes that i make in the future.
do say im introvert.
do judge me as unfriendly.
or find myself childish.

no one can stop u guys rite.

i believe,
one day,
i will have my own love story.

on saturday 08/09
went out with kak rai.
to vivo city.
meet her at 9.30am at tamp itc,
had our breakfast at mac.
then went ahead to vivo,
window shop a lot and
update abt each other and took some pics near the snow man.
haha.

*im trying hard to laugh*

on sunday 09/09
accompanied mummy to johor.
she booked 2 tix to terengganu for her n daddy.
and that was where we have to traveled all the way to larkin.
haha.
i hate that place.
super crowded sia.
have my mood swing.
and mums start to nagged all the way.

haha,
it lasted for 15mins and so we quickly make our way to city square.
i spend quite a lot on my stuff.
i bought an everlast sneakers.
a story book.
levis socks.
2 korean drama series dvd.
a necklace engraved his name.
all together cost SGD 80.
how cheap and affordable was that.
haha.

*to my friends,
sorry for not replying your sms and calls.
i need some time.
a week maybe.
and i promise,
i'll be fine.

i wanna skim and surf.
can i?

and to u.
im moving on.

-apa artinya cinta-

-Even.time.wont.be.able.to.heal.this.pain.n.sadness.

i fell and keeps on falling everytime i think abt u.

yeah. i did.

how this thing really played me ard.
it really hurts.
and this tears just wont stop.
and this laughters r just fake.

i act-ed as if im normal.
i walk as if theres nothing blocking me in the future.
i smile as if these will last for long.

guys come n go.
tried to adapt the way i behave.
but none r like u.
none r better than u.
none.

parents n studies are my priority.
and so r u.

but now,
everything gone.

i tried to move on.
yes.
i tried.
i eventually managed to.
but the more i try.
the more this feelings grow.
the more,
i fall for u,
for ur love.

u said,
"one day, when we r meant for each other, u will welcome me with ur arms wide open".

now i will say to u,
" i will wait for that one day to come. let me pick myself up and upgrade myself first."

u said,
"parents r the ones that cherish and bless us with their love."

now i will say to u,
"other than my parents, u are the one who always make me smile. my tears n laughters r meant just for u."

u said,
"u r the last child in ur family. they need u. u r their last hope u c."

now i will say to u,
"u r the 1st child in ur family, and ur responsible is higher than ur other siblings. can i be with u when u need a shoulder to cry n a friend to rely".

to muhd fadzlee.
no matter how happy i am.
deep down me,
im crying.

im sorry for not appreciating ur love.
im sorry for not being there when u need me.
im sorry for being so harsh towards u when im angry with someone else.
im sorry for trying to take u away from ur family.
im sorry for being selfish.
im sorry for being so un-protective.
im sorry for not taking gud care of u.
theres too many apologies to be made.


werk are pwetty normal.

yesterday, 06/09/07
cuzzins outing.
meet huda at ard 5pm.
took 168 from tamp to wdls.
meet huda at wdls and headed to banquet for our late lunch.
then plan to watch "dead silence",
but eventually,
due to our fickle.minded-ness.
we headed to town.
more to plaza singapura.
walk ard.
intend to buy the ice-cream mooncakes at swensen,
but too much of it.
consist of 4 flavoured mooncakes.
me n her.
we wont be able to finish up the ice-creams.
so,
we have our mini colourful cupcakes at "made with love" shop.
haha.
took quite a nums of pics.
(sorry, usb currently unable to upload those pics)
she craving for a dress.
but im the cause for her not to buy one.
haha.
buy what u need not what u want.
haha.
so headed to cathay,
when suddenly huda have this idea of having a last supper.
haha.
first she wanna have some stingray at lau pa sat.
due to my laziness,
we end up at Fish n Co.
haha.
yeah.
ordered 2 big meals with a big jug of ice blend.
haha.
seafood platter n black pepper stingray.
with jungle forest.
total spend. $45. haha.
each of us paid 23 bucks.
tanx to mum for giving me extra weekly income.

i guess mum sensed that im in need of some refreshment.
haha.

tanx abg for giving me the moral support.
tanx kakak for always trying to take gud care of me when u failed to be one.
haha.

tmrw,
heading to pasir ris park with kak rai.
eventually kak rai wanna drive her car.
but due to some circumstances,
she cant be able to drive her car.
haha.
i miss the chance to go ard spore with her car.
next time k kak rai.

so, looking forward for tmrw's outing.

sunday.
mum's day out.
tagging along with mummy to johor.

i need another job.
can i?

*tanx to my mp3 for accompanying me when i feel lonely*
how i wish they r living creatures. haha.

-big girls dunt cry-