-Even.time.wont.be.able.to.heal.this.pain.n.sadness.

i fell and keeps on falling everytime i think abt u.

yeah. i did.

how this thing really played me ard.
it really hurts.
and this tears just wont stop.
and this laughters r just fake.

i act-ed as if im normal.
i walk as if theres nothing blocking me in the future.
i smile as if these will last for long.

guys come n go.
tried to adapt the way i behave.
but none r like u.
none r better than u.
none.

parents n studies are my priority.
and so r u.

but now,
everything gone.

i tried to move on.
yes.
i tried.
i eventually managed to.
but the more i try.
the more this feelings grow.
the more,
i fall for u,
for ur love.

u said,
"one day, when we r meant for each other, u will welcome me with ur arms wide open".

now i will say to u,
" i will wait for that one day to come. let me pick myself up and upgrade myself first."

u said,
"parents r the ones that cherish and bless us with their love."

now i will say to u,
"other than my parents, u are the one who always make me smile. my tears n laughters r meant just for u."

u said,
"u r the last child in ur family. they need u. u r their last hope u c."

now i will say to u,
"u r the 1st child in ur family, and ur responsible is higher than ur other siblings. can i be with u when u need a shoulder to cry n a friend to rely".

to muhd fadzlee.
no matter how happy i am.
deep down me,
im crying.

im sorry for not appreciating ur love.
im sorry for not being there when u need me.
im sorry for being so harsh towards u when im angry with someone else.
im sorry for trying to take u away from ur family.
im sorry for being selfish.
im sorry for being so un-protective.
im sorry for not taking gud care of u.
theres too many apologies to be made.


werk are pwetty normal.

yesterday, 06/09/07
cuzzins outing.
meet huda at ard 5pm.
took 168 from tamp to wdls.
meet huda at wdls and headed to banquet for our late lunch.
then plan to watch "dead silence",
but eventually,
due to our fickle.minded-ness.
we headed to town.
more to plaza singapura.
walk ard.
intend to buy the ice-cream mooncakes at swensen,
but too much of it.
consist of 4 flavoured mooncakes.
me n her.
we wont be able to finish up the ice-creams.
so,
we have our mini colourful cupcakes at "made with love" shop.
haha.
took quite a nums of pics.
(sorry, usb currently unable to upload those pics)
she craving for a dress.
but im the cause for her not to buy one.
haha.
buy what u need not what u want.
haha.
so headed to cathay,
when suddenly huda have this idea of having a last supper.
haha.
first she wanna have some stingray at lau pa sat.
due to my laziness,
we end up at Fish n Co.
haha.
yeah.
ordered 2 big meals with a big jug of ice blend.
haha.
seafood platter n black pepper stingray.
with jungle forest.
total spend. $45. haha.
each of us paid 23 bucks.
tanx to mum for giving me extra weekly income.

i guess mum sensed that im in need of some refreshment.
haha.

tanx abg for giving me the moral support.
tanx kakak for always trying to take gud care of me when u failed to be one.
haha.

tmrw,
heading to pasir ris park with kak rai.
eventually kak rai wanna drive her car.
but due to some circumstances,
she cant be able to drive her car.
haha.
i miss the chance to go ard spore with her car.
next time k kak rai.

so, looking forward for tmrw's outing.

sunday.
mum's day out.
tagging along with mummy to johor.

i need another job.
can i?

*tanx to my mp3 for accompanying me when i feel lonely*
how i wish they r living creatures. haha.

-big girls dunt cry-